rethink-y dinky pony

My friend Mojo Cat made it very clear that I had to replace my DP ASAP after my first video was posted .  He’s a very smart kitty with a lot of experience, so I trust his judgement on such things.  I immediately fired my Drunken Panda and invited the Dinky Pony named Einstein to join my team.  Unfortunately, Einstein’s snooty legal team hasn’t gotten back to me, so I’m beginning to think it’s time to move on…  Kitty helped me make a list of other DP options that fit the color scheme, but I’m having a hard time deciding which one will be the most effective…

Daring Polar bear – slightly concerned about condo association’s 40 lb weight limit, but this DP could just consume association’s board members

Doughy Priest – good for kneading, if nothing else

Damp Poodle – very concerned about the smell

Dainty Penguin – would he outshine my fabulousity?

Dorky Porcupine – unsure of usefulness beyond security


31 comments on “rethink-y dinky pony

  1. omg, I’ve already fallen in love with Dainty Penguin, but you might need to invest in an indoor swimming pool. Oh wait, that wouldn’t be a problem because you live in Hawaii so the beach is just a stone-throw away. Penguin!

    • I think the Dainty Penguin is theoretically my favorite, but I have two concerns… One, will he be cuter than I am? I know it’s hard to imagine that anything could be cuter than me, but I think a Dainty Penguin might come close. And two, I am a cat and a penguin is a bird. Would my DP be irresistible and end up being lunch?

      • On second thought, I’d be worried about the safety of the penguin too. You’re quite the determined hunter.

        As for being outshone by your DPenguin, Penguins are cute beyond imagination, but you are not merely cute. You have the gravitas of a leader as well as the cuteness of a fuzzy baby penguin. A hard combination to achieve!

        My vote is for the Delightful Polydactyl. I am lucky enough to count two polydactyls in my family and I can speak to their dedication to service, generous personalities, and furriness.

        • A photo of myself next to a Dainty Penguin would look fantastic, wouldn’t it? Or maybe me riding the Dainty Penguin. I wonder how much weight they can carry… Sadly, the Dainty Penguin isn’t the right choice. I’m a predator, and I don’t know if I could control those urges if my DP started looking too much like Dinner Penguin.

          Do your Polydactyls have very impressive interdigital floof??? I would love to have the Delightful Polydactyl onboard. Sammy would be fantastic. I can’t imagine that he’d ditch his Dad and move to Hawaii, though. I have my toes crossed…

          • Yes, my polydactyls have mind-boggling interdigital floof. I believe you saw Mani’s extreme toe floof photo from yesterday.

            HOWEVER, as much as I would be honored to have a family member in your service, I don’t think either Lotus or Mani would qualify. Lotus Batcat is too busy defending the civilized world from bug attacks to take on another job. Mani is great if you want an extra sofa cushion or a foot warmer at night. He’s also a good bet in food-eating contests. However, I think you have other job requirements in mind.

  2. Sir
    If we are the Snooty Legal Team you refer to, you should know that we have received no correspondence from you. Should you wish to proceed with negotiations over Mr Dinky Pony’s contract, please contact us at our page.

    yours etc
    PS Like the new picture, you have impressive whiskers.

    • Dear Snooty Legal Team,
      I will dig up my response to your reply and forward it to you at your page at my earliest convenience.

      Thank you for noticing the new header photo. I really love the way my fabulous set of whiskers looks in it. And my adorable little chin looks very soft and scratchable, doesn’t it? My human may have outdone herself with that photo.

      Pedro the Cat
      soon to be the most famous cat in the universe

  3. From the desk of Mojo Cat:
    Pedro, old chap, sorry the Dinky Pony didn’t work out. I’ve heard he’s very good. Probabably in high demand. Have you considered a Dashing Panther? Keep in in the family and all.
    Best whiskers,

    • Aloha Mojo! Apparently Dinky Pony’s lawyers didn’t respond to my response because they never received my response in response to their response. So maybe Einstein is still on the table. Still, I’d like to have a Plan B just in case… I thought of Dashing Panthers or Demented Pumas, but Big Cats aren’t necessarily team players. I think my DP has to really be committed to Pedro the Cat. I value your opinion, so please let me know if you feel I’m making a mistake by excluding our relatives.

      • See your point….And it is a good one. Then if it’s dedication, you might want a Devoted Pup? I wouldn’t worry about it being cuter than you. That’s just not going to happen. Having said that, you have to watch you don’t end up with a Derriere Polisher. That always ends badly.

        • Devoted Pup is a fantastic idea. I wonder if I could find one with any useful skills… I’ll look out for Derriere Polishers. I would really love to have a good Derriere Scratcher on staff, so I might have been more inclined to accept a Derriere Polisher. Thanks for the warning.

  4. Well Pedro, at least you have OPTIONS……You know of course Mojo has the right idea with keeping it in the feline family – might I suggest a Delightful Polydactyl be thrown (non-literally of course) into the mix?


    • Wow, Sammy! I can’t believe I didn’t think of that before – you really are a Delightful Polydactyl! It would be perfect – you wouldn’t have to try to stay warm this winter, you’d enjoy the flat rate box for traveling, you’re definitely under the condo association’s weight limit, your thumbs would really be an asset, and you’re a team player. I’d love to have you be my DP! But, what would your Mom think???

      • Hmm….well…..I’d say that I could bring her with me to join the team but there’s no way she’d fit in a flat rate box – and I mean NO way if you get my drift…..tell you what though – I’ll talk to her – she can be reasonable (especially after a couple of glasses of wine)….she might let me travel there for an interview anyway.


        • The interview is complete, Sammy. You’d be a fantastic DP and the job is yours if you want it. And if you can convince your Mom. I don’t suppose she’d fit in the flat rate box after A LOT of wine, would she?

          • She’d fit in anything after a lot of wine…..good point. Now we’ll have to check with my Dad to make sure he’ll be alright after we’ve moved to Hawaii…..he can barely boil water, wouldn’t know how to shop in a grocery store much less be able to FIND the grocery store, and has no idea where the clothes washer and dryer are located in this house we live in. It would be a rough road for the old guy……we’ll have to have a family discussion tonight over dinner (and lots of wine).

          • I don’t suppose your Dad would fit in a flat rate box with or without wine, would he?

            You know, I read something about Native Alaskan tribes setting their elderly afloat alone on the ice floe when they became burdensome…

  5. Wait. Why has nobody thought of Demented Prunes? Shipping dried fruit would be no problem and let me tell you, when you let these babies loose on a project, they really get things moving!

    • Ummm… Good thinking, Bugs! Dried Prunes would travel easier than something like a Dainty Penguin. I wonder if they might be a little… overly motivating? We are cats, after all. It’s important for us to get our 18+ hours of sleep every day. Dried Prunes tend to work 24/7 (and when you least expect them to). I’ll keep them in mind though, Bugs!

      • Pedro, your OPENmindedness (geddit, OPEN) is one of the things I like best about you. I was thinking “demented” would work better than merely “dried” — but now I recall one of the things people feel a little uncomfortable with about me is that I tend to go over the top. So now I see your wisdom in preferring the more-moderate “dried” kind — and putting by the demented ones for emergencies only. Thanks for the pointer.

  6. Delirious Puppy volunteering here. Perhaps you need a fitness trainer? I would be delighted to provide all felines with incentive for some good wholesome jogging and leaping. And my people have offered to put me in a flat rate box bound for Hawaii the minute you say the word. (They seem positively eager to share my energy with someone in another state across an ocean. Not every puppy gets such whole hearted support in career/travel goals at sich a tender age.)

    My resume: I am delightfully cow spotted, under 40 lbs, can get under just about anything, and I have boundless energy.

    • Aloha Delerious Puppy. Hmm… Your resume looks great, except for that little boundless energy thing… I’m a little concerned about your suggestion of fitness training and jogging… Ummm… Thanks so much for volunteering, but I think I might stick with the Demented Prunes for now. Please reapply when you’ve become slightly older and lazier.

  7. See Pedro? You truly DO have lots of options. The only one (well, two really) that concerned me a bit were the Derriere Polisher (eeek) and the Demented Prunes (yikes). Actually, on second thought, those two would make a great team…..of a sort…..(eeek again). No matter what, I’m sure you will make the best choice for yourself as you climb (claw) your way to the pinnacle of power in your career. 🙂

  8. Of course you could also consider Dashing Pig. Talk about qualifications, the guy is smart, funny, intelligent and loves to run around town with a companion on his back. He can be trained to do anything and he uses a standard bathroom so those boring walks or stinky litter boxes are not needed. And contrary to popular belief he loves to bathe, and nap, and of course eat. He also is a beautiful white with black spotted pig and looks awesome in a bow tie. He’s also good at digging up truffles.

    So really there are no downsides that I can come up with. He has agreed to wear a suit, tie, hat and fly first class to you. He does prefer martinis to wine, but will be happy with either.

    • A Dashing Pig would be convenient – there are lots of them running around here (pun intended). Unfortunately, my human had a little incident involving a pig in a petting zoo. I wouldn’t want her to have to relive that trauma every time she saw my Dashing Pig…

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