the kitty is out of the bag

Kitty came clean today – she told me about the secret page she snuck into my blog.  We’ve come to an agreement that I feel will meet both of our needs…  I will rent her the space needed for Kitty’s Page and subsequent entries and allow her to Post occasional updates since it seems subscribers aren’t alerted about new Pages.  In return, I get first dibs on the human’s pillow and the cable box for napping, Kitty agrees to never mention anything that happens in the litterboxes, and she will stop calling me any variation of the following:  Lardo, Hippo, Blubber Butt, Semi, Wide Load, or Oaf.  I think this arrangement will be mutually beneficial, and hopefully we’ll be able to spend some quality time over the blog and really bond.  I enjoyed the page she published today, and I’m happy enough with this plan that maybe I’ll even throw in some extra long baths for her.  I know how much she loves them…


18 comments on “the kitty is out of the bag

  1. I noticed the paw on the butt thing immediately Pedro…..friendly tap? Just touching base? The old “paw of assurance” excuse? Well, whatever the REAL relationship between you two is, it’s yours and it works for you – that’s what matters! I do think it’s truly magnanimous (that may be the biggest word I ever used in a comment) of you to rent Kitty her own page on your blog. The terms seem reasonable!

    • That’s so embarrassing. I was just stretching, and her butt happened to be there…

      Very impressive vocabulary, Sammy! Maybe I should ask you to be my editor instead of my DP. That way you could telecommute… I’m really looking forward to a winter of naps on the cable box and never being called Oaf again. So I think it was a fantastic trade!

  2. I am so pleased you guys worked this negotiation out without the lawyers. Otherwise you’d be in court by now . Insert music from Jaws. . . . That court-type caper tends to take over and result in . . . . I can’t stand to even think about it. This way is so much better. And you can pool the green papers you saved and buy a Maserati, say. Or a lot — I mean a lot — of nip.

  3. Oh, I love this picture! Kitty looks appropriately disdainful, and you are showing off your dashing red claws and your gorgeous eyes. I don’t think I’ve had a chance to praise your tufty ears yet. No wonder Sprocket wants to grow up to be like you.

  4. Kitty, you are quite amazing and lovely. How did you get your human to put the pink toe caps on Pedro?? Pink? Seriously? for a guy of Pedro’s fineness? Suggest she get him the purple, green or blue ones. I know it is imperative to have the colored ones so they can be easily spotted. My cat pod of three play a game with our humans to see who can dislodge one toe cap the earliest and the other two of us would hide it. It was amazing how much damage we could do in one day with one toe. We were good at our pursuits to show how much we loved our humans. They were always so happy to come in and see all the shredded stuff. Then toe check, toe nail trim, reapply missing toe cap. Then the next day we would dig out the one we hid and put it dead center of the kitchen. When they came in from work we play tag with them. We cannot be caught and they can not possibly inspect our toes. Again. Great fun.

    • Aloha, SL. The Soft Claws are actually red. Pedro is kind enough to let our human install them because he knows she takes so much pleasure in the joke, “What’s black and white and red all over? Pedro!!!” One thing nice I can say about Pedro is that he’s good about any procedure he can categorize as “grooming”. Our human trims his nails and cuts his toe fur, brushes every inch of him, cleans his ears and his nose, and puts the claw covers on without any struggle or complaining. I would never have the patience for any of that, but he almost seems to appreciate it… Weird.

      • Pedro is one lucky cat. The three of us love to be brushed and groomed and loved, but alas our human is ALWAYS busy. We have to resort to jumping up on the table or the counter or in the middle of her newspaper to get her attention. When we see her heading to the counter to take a seat to eat, we race and jump up first. But she just doesn’t get it and perches on the front of the chair, leaving room for at least one of us behind her. The other two then go to plan two and constantly put our paws on the counter and if she gets up for water or something, we sneak bites off her plate. She always get the good stuff. Can we come stay with you? We’ll even bring our own grooming tools. If not, we will continue to nag her lazy self by covering every inch of every surface with our beautiful long hair. She then wastes her “valuable” time with that noisy sucker machine fruitlessly cleaning up our hair. If she would just groom us instead of wasting all that time it would be a win for everyone.

        • Unfortunately, I don’t know that you would get much more attention here. I only have 2 scheduled times per day for brushing – a total of 20 minutes per day. 20 minutes!!! How am I supposed to look my best with a schedule like that? Poor Kitty is lucky If she gets brushed once a week. She says she hates being brushed, but I think she’s just trying to act tough. I feel so bad about that that I spend a lot of extra time grooming her in great detail… I think your best chance for good looking coats is to learn how to brush each other. It’s all about teamwork!

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