Have I mentioned lately that my human isn’t the sharpest crayon in the box?
Meet Moa, or the feral Hawaiian chicken. We have tons of them, and they’re everywhere. When one appeared on my doorstep this morning, apparently my human thought I would be an integral part of her chicken elimination plan.
Is she insane? Roosters are huge, fierce, angry, vicious predators. They’ll peck your eyes out without hesitation – right through the screen door! And not only are they violent beasts, but they’re riddled with germs. If they can’t get your eyes, they’ll do everything they can to infect you with salmonella or bird flu or ebola. They’re awful creatures, and I can’t believe she thought I wanted any part of that… After making it absolutely clear that she was on her own to get rid of the chicken on her way to work, I spent the whole day
hiding hanging out in my shopping bag in case the creature knew how to open deadbolts…
Ten hours later my human finally returned to see if we’d survived the day, and I snuck out to see if the evil rooster was still there. I can still smell him. I think he’s out there, hiding until we least expect his attack. And he has probably invited friends as backup.
I’m out of there. I can
hide nap in this bag for weeks if I need to.