a meeting with the legal team

Today I was alerted to something very alarming.  My friend at Here There Be Spiders shared a link to Catsparella’s troubling review of a Vogue Magazine spread with me.  Vogue not only used a model cat that is neither very attractive nor interesting, but Catsparella’s review also starts with the words, “What’s black and white and red all over?”  I am black and white and red all over.  ME.  Pedro the Cat is black and white and red all over.  This model cat has no red.  I have red.  And black and white.

I was so troubled by the inferior black and white cat with the weird nose spot and incorrect review that I decided to put on my bow tie for an urgent meeting with my legal team.  I would like their advice on whether or not I can trademark the phrase, “What’s black and white and red all over?”   Unfortunately, my legal team consists of Kitty and she’s not returning my meows…  After Kitty and I go over the feasibility of trademarking “What’s black and white and red all over?”, I’ll be meeting with my marketing team to make sure that my photos are distributed far and wide so magazines don’t have to use such inferior creatures.  I hope Kitty can stay awake through two meetings… 


12 comments on “a meeting with the legal team

    • Thank you for pointing out Catsparella’s post. Do you think maybe Ms. Catsparella is colorblind? I feel bad for Vogue – they were obviously unaware that their model cat is a little homely. I won’t let them make that mistake twice!

  1. I think the kitten has potential but anykitty photographed with those outfits would be hard pressed to look cute. Also, she (or he) has a jumpy and starved look. I would like to feed the kitty warm milk and tuna and then play some kitten lullabies. The kitty probably has a legitimate case suing her (or his) agent for letting her appear in that photo shoot which did such a good job of negating any potential cuteness.

    It’s good that you called an emergency meeting and I hope you decide to take action soon. When Sprocket wears his red beret (and is thus black and white and red all over) it is in homage to you.

    Also, I have to add that you are very handsome.

    • Aloha, Littlemiao! It’s very kind of you to think that model cat has potential. I have a hard time looking past those horrible photos, I guess.

      When Sprocket wears his red beret, he IS black and white and red all over (BAWARAO), and therefore he should be able to use the phrase. I wouldn’t want to block any penguins covered in ketchup or nuns in blenders from using it, just those that aren’t actually BAWARAO. I looked online all night and couldn’t find any laws regarding misuse of bad jokes…

  2. Aloha Pedro…..I can only imagine your reaction when seeing that Vogue story. I do hope your emergency meeting with your team (such as it is) results in some kind of action being taken to insure something like this doesn’t happen again! If your agent were doing his/her/its job, your photograph would be in every magazine’s office to remind them just who is REALLY “black and white and red all over” !!!

    Your BFC Sammy

    • Hi, Sammy! I never imagined that anyone who wasn’t BAWARAO (black and white and red all over) would use the joke. Doesn’t it seem like that should be false advertising or slander or something? Defamation of joke? I just want to protect the phrase for sunburnt zebras and other BAWARAO creatures everywhere.

      • Pedro I’m with ya buddy….if I can help AT ALL, you can call on me. Defamation of joke totally…..you are entitled to “protect” the BAWARAO distinction which you so wonderfully represent!!!! The nerve of some people.

        Your BFC Sammy

  3. Way to go Pedro. My five year old granddaughter showed me video of Maru. Now I finally know. You are so much more dignified. You still look like my mom. Some day you may see a picture of her, but she isn’t really black, she is dark charcoal grey. She’s very pretty.

  4. Umm — maybe that whole Vogue scene is just too alarming? This is the point of view of us country cats over here in Arkansas. We are having second and third thoughts about this fame thing. We hear Austin over at CATachresis is pretty far gone on abusable substances . . . . It seems this attention thing only ends in tears. We’re feeling trepidacious about Bugs’s debut on Real Housecats for this reason. Pedro, you are such a cool dude at the moment — we’d hate to see this happen to you. We’re with Kitty on this one. Sleep seems the prudent response. Put those meetings to the only use that can be called good. Meetings. Meh.

  5. PS, my human typed the note for me, I still am lacking thumbs. My name is Duke. I’m marked a lot like a raccoon. Shez thinks I’m special.

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