A few days ago I promised some enlightening political commentary. Since then I’ve been racking my brain – not to come up with ideas for the posts, but trying to decide which issues are most perplexing, absurd, or worthy of my scorn. After much deep reflection, I have come to the conclusion that the entire election process is absolutely ridiculous. Therefore, my political commentary series will instead show humans how the American elections process would work if cats were in charge. Tonight I’ll begin with the issue that seems most insane to me…
I read something at the end of September that said $1.15 billion had been spent on the Romney and Obama campaigns. OK – I understand that increased spending is good for the economy. Jobs have been created, cash is flowing, blah, blah, blah. But $1.15 billion??? That’s A LOT of bonito flakes, folks. Can you imagine how many cats like CATarina could be saved at HOKAFI with $1.15 billion? Think about how much of Hurricane Sandy could be cleaned up with $1.15 billion. Or how many students could have text books, art, or athletics.
So, as Obama and Romney and whats-his-name-the-Libertarian-who-apparently-should-have-spent-more are reading this, they’re saying, “But how else will the nation get my message, Pedro?” Simple. Pee in some corners, scratch some furniture, kick a few butts. After that it’s just a series of head bumps and some constituent grooming to build support, and you’re in charge. No debates, no annoying commercials, no arguments at the dinner table, and no insanely excessive spending.