pedro the cat’s politics

A few days ago I promised some enlightening political commentary.  Since then I’ve been racking my brain – not to come up with ideas for the posts, but trying to decide which issues are most perplexing, absurd, or worthy of my scorn.  After much deep reflection, I have come to the conclusion that the entire election process is absolutely ridiculous.  Therefore, my political commentary series will instead show humans how the American elections process would work if cats were in charge.  Tonight I’ll begin with the issue that seems most insane to me…

CAMPAIGN SPENDING

I read something at the end of September that said $1.15 billion had been spent on the Romney and Obama campaigns. OK – I understand that increased spending is good for the economy. Jobs have been created, cash is flowing, blah, blah, blah. But $1.15 billion???  That’s A LOT of bonito flakes, folks.  Can you imagine how many cats like CATarina could be saved at HOKAFI with $1.15 billion?   Think about how much of Hurricane Sandy could be cleaned up with $1.15 billion.  Or how many students could have text books, art, or athletics.

So, as Obama and Romney and whats-his-name-the-Libertarian-who-apparently-should-have-spent-more are reading this, they’re saying, “But how else will the nation get my message, Pedro?”  Simple.  Pee in some corners, scratch some furniture, kick a few butts.  After that it’s just a series of head bumps and some constituent grooming to build support, and you’re in charge.  No debates, no annoying commercials, no arguments at the dinner table, and no insanely excessive spending.

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19 comments on “pedro the cat’s politics

  1. Love the tie, but, Pedro, I believe the current look is the checked lumberjack shirt and chinos. Just folks. Just corn-pone. Or, the suit jacket and open shirt-collar. Just your ordinary busy executive, cool enough with self and masculinity to dispense with the formalities. Just dad home from work. Just sayin’.

  2. I hear hecklers now at political rallies: “Aw, go pee in a corner!”

    Thank you for this. Really and truly. They ought to be ashamed. 1.15 billion samoleans and people still losing their houses. Shame shame shame.

  3. I agree with you completely, Pedro!

    Campaign spending should be capped at $1.37 per candidate, and they’re not allowed to start campaigning until three days before the election. Period!

  4. Honestly Pedro, I’m completely behind your ground breaking ideas. Just one question. Will the candidates show up to pee in my house and scratch my furniture? Or do they just need to stop at a couple houses in each state? Maybe they show pee in the White House? If either candidate shows up to groom me I’m calling the cops!

    • I would think that a good urine spray on the Canadian and Mexican borders would do the trick, and maybe in the oval office. (although it might be hard to find the corners there!). Don’t you think that if you would refuse grooming from either candidate, then maybe neither one should be your leader??? Every cat wants their alpha cat’s care, protection, and grooming!

      • You’re absolutely right Pedro. I’m afraid I was thinking to much like a human. They tend to be less open to being groomed by strange men. My huMom is my typist and sometimes her feelings bleed into my post. Although, she’s not bothered by the idea of candidates spraying urine along the border, so I wonder if she’s not more cat than I thought. I think marking the oval office would be difficult. But now I wonder of Socks, the Clinton’s cat, so long ago, left his mark in the rose garden or perhaps the Lincoln bedroom?

        • I’m sure good ol’ Socks left quite a mark on the White House! 😉 Think about what a great country this would be if the President was someone that people trusted enough to groom them a bit behind the ears. Wouldn’t that be something?

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