I’m a fan of the show Shark Tank. With a name like that and such a fabulous concept, what businesscat could resist?
I recently saw an old episode that featured a man with a blossoming business that was sheer genius. (I know I have your attention now, because rarely does one see the words “man” and “genius” in the same sentence here at pedrothecat.com.) The man is Steve Gadlin and his business is I Want To Draw A Cat For You. And for a mere $9.95, Steve will do just that. Naturally, I had to borrow my human’s credit card to take Steve’s website for a little test drive. And here’s the result:
I think it’s amazing that the true essence of Pedro the Cat is obvious in such a primitive piece of art drawn by a complete stranger. Steve got everything right – the spots, the catstooth tie, and the cattitude. I think it’s absolutely amazing…
P.S. My apologies if I’ve offended Maru, whose furry rear end I’m kicking above. Steve just draws life as he sees it. Brilliant! I wonder if I can order a mural…
I had to take a brief sacCATical to take care of some feline business, but I’m back now and ready for all of my adoring fans to begin adoring me again. I apologize to those of you that missed me terribly, but I think you’ll be excited to see what I’ve been working on in upcoming posts. Here’s a quick update on what’s been going on in the world of Pedro the Cat:
- As you may recall, before my leave I had just acquired a new temporary human that needed some serious training. The progress in getting him to let me lick his barren noggin has been a little disappointing, but I haven’t given up hope yet. I have been able to teach him a few impressive tricks that I can’t wait to show you all.
- As you also may recall, my roommate cat, Kitty, was older than dirt. I am happy to report that Kitty has not yet kicked the bucket, and she is now even older than older than dirt. I believe she may be senile because she does seem to love me now.
- And I’m sure that you all remember my underachieving human. She is still underachieving. But she is spending more time brushing me and administering mani/pedis. (Or would that be pedi/pedis?)
- As you may recall, I had accrued enough income from my WordAds to bring home the bacon. A slice or two… I am thrilled to announce that due to the diligence of my fans, even in the absence of new posts, I am now able to afford the entire pound of bacon. Maybe even a pound of the fancy applewood smoked bacon my human loves. Thank you all for your continued support!
I’ve been watching the Olympic games, and seeing all those elite athletes has really been inspirational. I think cats everywhere should come together to organize our own feline Olympics. I’ve been thinking a lot about which kitty sports should be included, and I’ve narrowed it down to the following:
- drapery speed climbing
- litter box digging
- hairball toss (between myself and Kitty, I’m the
- marathon cat napping
- speed shedding
- cardboard box leaping (Maru’s bound to medal in that one)
- team and individual bathing
- and my personal favorite and best chance for gold – feather boa rhythmic gymnastics
Hola and Aloha, mi amigos! (Sorry – not sure how to make that strange little upside down exclamation point thingy.)
Today I was online, looking for inspiration. I found myself at Maru’s blog again, and saw something quite stunning that made me realize what my blog is missing. A camera. A great camera that will take fantastic action shots like this, without too many buttons to confuse my poor, technically challenged human. With a simple interface. And one she won’t notice on her credit card statement… Any suggestions???
Et tu, Brute. (That’s Spanish, right?)
I have to admit that I’m in a bit of a slump. My blossoming career has been blossoming more slowly than molasses. I’ve had a touch of writer’s block, so my manuscript is blossoming more slowly than my career. And honestly, I’ve been spending most of my time just acting like a silly housecat. I do enjoy the stress-free living, but I have to admit that it leaves me short on material for blogging. So, today I visited the site of the master feline blogger, Maru-san. And I saw something there that really fascinated me, and then brought me back to the original reason I began blogging and pursuing fame and fortune: Maru is just a cat. He never runs out of material or inspiration because he’s just acting like a cat. And yet, everyone loves Maru. And there is my inspiration: whether I am a fabulous businesscat or a silly housecat, people love me just the way I am. So today I am just a silly housecat, playing with my favorite pink feathery toy… After I finish a chapter of my manuscript about my complex friendship and working relationship with Kitty, that is.
Do I look as cranky as I feel?
A few days ago I finally gave up on the editors of Review Of My Cat and self-published a review of myself. The editors had clearly retired from the business of cat reviews, as they hadn’t published a new one in almost 2 months…
Just days after my self-review was posted, Review of My Cat began publishing new reviews of mediocre housecats. And since they have returned from their “hiatus”, they have not yet published the review I submitted to them in April. Hmph!
I’m so excited!!! After hours and hours of shopping online, I’ve finally found the perfect cow! He’s much, much cuter than Maru’s cow. And I think he’ll be the perfect size for me when he’s fully grown. His mom and dad both are about 3 feet tall. When he’s grown up, he’ll be slightly over the condo association’s 40-lb maximum (like 300 lbs over) but he’s so cute that I’m sure they’ll be willing to overlook his weight… My baby bull is really affordable – only $1500 plus shipping from wherever Pillard’s Miniature Cattle farm is. But I think my human would probably notice if I put that on her debit card, so I’ve come up with the perfect calf financing plan. I’m going to install a PayPal widget so all of my adoring fans can make donations to Pedro’s Cattle Fund Drive. Isn’t that a fabulous idea??? I think I’ll name him Bo, short for Bovine…
You may recall that last month I submitted a review of myself to Review of My Cat. I am sorry to say that the editors of Review of My Cat appear to have shut down completely before publishing my review. In fact, our Japanese friend Maru-san was their last subject. My only thought is that they didn’t want to make poor Maru feel bad about his score by following it with such a fabulous creature as myself. I guess I can appreciate their sensitivity… But as I have yet to complete my own sensitivity training, I’ve decided to publish my own review right here on my very own blog. I’ve followed the Review of My Cat format, and included my favorite headshot and action photo for your viewing pleasure.
Duh. Have you ever seen a more handsome cow-spotted cat??? Or any colored cat, for that matter?
I love almost everyone, feline or human. At a party, I’m a social butterfly. I especially love greeting the pizza man at the door when he arrives. I’m not such a huge fan of yippy dogs, and I’d prefer less interaction with the neighbors my human calls The Crackheads. Their yelling makes me groom myself (and others) obsessively… But other than that, I am a highly social creature.
Look at me – I’m a businesscat with his own popular blog. Someday I’ll be paying my human’s mortgage, or maybe my very own. Plus, I’m in charge of grooming and hygiene in this household, which is a duty I take very seriously.
I love hugs. Don’t tell anyone, but my human calls me a “snugglebunny” because I’m so cuddly.
Overall Grade: A+
Do I look as irritated as I feel? I will never understand the lack of work ethic among humans. It’s just baffling. And exasperating…
As you all know, I am a busy businesscat with an exhausting work schedule. Therefore, I do make some demands of my human. I expect a fresh bowl of kibble 90 minutes before sunrise, followed by a complete full-body brushing session. This gives me plenty of time to digest my breakfast and finish grooming myself before my first cat nap of the day, which occurs 30 minutes after sunrise. I work very hard, and I don’t feel these expectations are unreasonable. But when I wake up my human at 4:30 a.m. to order breakfast, she looks at me like I’m a 3-headed alien demanding a lomi lomi massage with hot stones. This morning she had the gall to lock me out of the bedroom immediately after serving my kibble. Where did she expect me to take my 6:30 a.m. nap???
Does anyone know how to remove hard water stains from a cat?
I will never be able to join the ranks of the high-powered celebrity cats unless I look my best. And it’s hard to look my best with this weird water spot on my noggin. It might look subtle in this photo, but I think it really stands out in person. Or in cat, for that matter. Does anyone know how to remove hard water stains from fur?
P.S. No, Kitty has not been subjecting me to Chinese water torture. My favorite watering hole is the bathtub, but the spout drips on me when I drink. I don’t mind the drips – I picture myself as a cow-spotted jaguar in the rainforest, with rain dripping from giant leaves…
I may look very relaxed in this photo, but this is really how I do my best thinking. And I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since my last post…
You may recall my outrage of the improper use of “What’s black and white and red all over?” in Catsparella’s Vogue magazine review. After lengthy meetings with my legal advisor, I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s only one reasonable plan of action. I need to rally black and white and red all over (BAWARAO) creatures everywhere and inspire them to fight for their rights. One cat alone can’t fight this battle. Unfortunately, I’m having a hard time putting together an exhaustive list of BAWARAOs. Hopefully my loyal fans can assist me with that. Here’s what I have so far:
- Pedro the Cat (naturally)
- Blushing Penguins
- Sunburnt Zebras
- A Nun in a Blender
- Angry Pandas
- Penguins in Ketchup
- Embarrassed Skunks
- Penguins with Diaper Rash
I’m going to need all the help I can get with this project, so I hope you can help me identify all of the BAWARAOs. In the meantime, I think I’ll ask Kitty to handle the Angry Pandas.
I know that all of my loving fans have tons of questions about my Western slideshow extravaganza. So, today I thought I’d take you behind the scenes…
First stop, the wardrobe department. Isn’t my cowcat hat fantastic? I was thrilled when the famous feline haberdasher (and milliner to the Miaolings!) ToScarboroughFair made me my very own custom 10-gallon hat in my favorite shade of red… Unfortunately, since I’d never actually worn a hat, I didn’t realize that a cat is not born with hat wearing skills. So it took a bit of education, rigorous training exercises, and a lot of treats. But now it feels perfectly natural to have my cowcat hat on my adorable noggin.
The cow. I knew that my bovine options would be limited, since I live in a small condo in a fairly remote area with limited shopping. So, I was pleasantly surprised when my human brought home such a good looking cow. But he wasn’t very friendly. And he didn’t have much personality. And he smelled funny. You may have noticed a little tension between us in some of the photos… Needless to say, I told the cow to take a flying leap over the moon. And I’m in the market for a new cow.
And the most important question of all – the one I know you’re all dying to know about… Sequels! I do have a few creative ideas for a sequel or four. I’m going to continue working on my cowcat hat wearing skills, and maybe I’ll try to find someone to make me some custom cat chaps. When the time is right and I’ve obtained the right cow for the job, I’ll be ready to make My First Western Part Two.
My Caturday was very productive. I gave Kitty a really long bath, helped my human maximize her itemized deductions, and wrote a very impartial review of myself at Review of My Cat… And then I wrote a long letter of complaint to the Postmaster General. I swear they reduced the size of the Medium Flat Rate Box, which made my Caturday nap completely dissatisfying.
Holy cow-spotted cat! I’ve been training SOOOO hard to get ready for my big surprise that I’m completely exhausted. Or maybe I’m coming down with narcolepsy…
Aloha to all of my adoring fans! I know I’ve been neglecting you, but I’m back at work and ready to blog again…
You may remember that I was staging a sit-in in my human’s luggage to protest her leaving Kitty and I alone while she took a short trip. During my suitcase protest, I had one of those huge life-changing epiphanies. It occurred to me that my human must have been picking up on my serious businesscat vibe, and it made her think that I was independent and responsible enough to be left alone. That thought made me reflect on our household dynamics, and I saw that things were slightly askew around here. So I spent the last week getting my life back into balance.
Humans are strange creatures, and they really seem to need to feel needed. And lately I’ve been spending so much time on my manuscript and business endeavors that I’d forgotten to pretend that I’m a helpless furball. I saw immediately what needed to happen. I cuddled and kneaded and purred and head-bumped. I frolicked and played and did silly cat things. I was even nice to Kitty. I did everything I could to reinforce the stereotypical cat/person relationship. And she totally bought it. She won’t be neglecting us again any time soon. And I’m getting lots of treats. I did miss all of my blogging friends and fans, but the treats definitely made up for that.
Now that things are back to “normal” around here, I’m eager to reconnect with my adoring public and get back to work. But I’ll remember to save some time for my human.
I’m sorry I’ve been neglecting my adoring fans. I’ve been staging a sit-in in protest of the neglect and mistreatment I’ve experienced at the hands of my cruel and heartless human.Last week, my human packed up and left. She didn’t actually pack, since the bag she took was nearly empty. But she abandoned Kitty and I and left us all alone for days. What if Kitty had eaten all of the provisions our human left on the very first day? Or what if our water fountain’s motor had broken down? I could have starved to death! Plus, she took the laptop so I couldn’t blog or order pizza for almost 3 whole days. And there was no one to brush me or pet me. It was pure negligence and completely unacceptable… And when she finally returned home, that empty bag was stuffed full. And there was nothing in it for me. NOTHING! The mistreatment is inhuman and absolutely appalling. I will continue my luggage sit-in until my grievances are addressed.