november 13, 2011

I’ve been studying Pedro’s daily activities for a while, and I’ve made the following observations:

1.)  Pedro is sleep deprived.  He sleeps an average of 16 hours a day, which isn’t enough for optimal feline performance.

2.)  Pedro’s schedule is so full that he is currently only able to spend 45 minutes per day pursuing his career goals.  At that rate, I believe it will take 6-7 years to complete his first manuscript and Phases 1 & 2 of his business plan.

3.)  Pedro spends more time grooming me than I spend grooming me.

My Recommendations:

A.)  Pedro should immediately stop grooming others.  Especially elderly feline others.

B.)  Pedro should scale back his own grooming to a maximum of 2.5 hours daily.

C.)  Pedro should stop hunting.  His bowl is full of kibble 24/7.  There’s no need to slink around like a fierce predator stalking a wildebeest, wasting precious time.

D.)  Cuddling should be reduced to 1 hour per day.

E.)  As soon as the grooming of others ends, I will devote an hour of my precious time daily to assist in Pedro’s career pursuits.

These changes will allow him 17 hours per day of sleep, which is still inadequate but more reasonable.  This gives him 3 hours per day to work towards his career goals, plus 1 hour of my time.  The additional “work” time makes it possible for me to think that I may be able to live my last days in peace and quite while Pedro is a celebrity cat jet setting all over the place.

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13 comments on “november 13, 2011

  1. From the Desk of Mojo Cat:
    Dear, dear Kitty,
    From the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew that my world had changed. However, with the publication of this strategically sound business plan for Pedro’s sleep/life balance has just put me over the edge entirely. Kitty, I think you are fabulous.
    Your humble admirer,
    Mojo Cat.

    • Seriously? I’m old enough to be your great-grandcat!

      I am fabulous, though. Or, at least I will be when I get some peace and quiet…

    • Since we have twice as many feet, does that make the pedestrian concept of the 30ish year age difference twice as disturbing?

      • I’ll get a calculator and let you know. Though I don’t know why you persist on thinking age is a serious obstacle here, when distance is clearly a bigger issue. And no matter how fabulous you are, I’m not getting in a flat pack box for you. (But we can negotiate if you up the offer to a shoe box.)
        Your adoring,
        Mojo
        PS, keep this to yourself, please. Pedro looks up to me as a hard nosed business cat, and will never take me seriously if he finds I have a squishy centre…..

        • I’ll keep this a secret and consider the shoe box upgrade if you do your best to expedite Pedro’s business plan. The sooner he becomes rich and famous, the sooner I get a nap without being mauled by that giant tongue of his!

  2. Kitty I believe you are proving yourself to be “the power behind the throne” with this well presented assessment of Pedro’s current daily activities and your pawsome suggestions to enable him to take better advantage of his available time. The stars of tomorrow need guidance from their elders – – and we all know just how “elder” you are so who better than YOU to keep Pedro on his career path. Go girl go!

  3. Pedro is so fortunate to have your experience and analytical eye to help him on his path to world domination. That extra hour of sleep will get him far. It’s a good thing your intervention comes before his sleep deprivation becomes critical. The Miao brothers believe that 20-22 hours/day is ideal, but the Miaolings are content with 18.

    It is sweet that Pedro is such a good groomer, though. If Pedro weren’t bound for high office, Ping might think of hiring him as a personal groomer. It’s hard work keeping all that floof in order.

    • Aloha Littlemiao! You seem like a sensible person, so I’m glad to hear you approve of the plan… I’m personally on the 22-24 sleep hour plan.

      Hmmmm… Maybe if Pedro can’t attain his goals of fame and fortune, he could move in with the Miaos and be Ping’s personal groomer. Pedro would really love that.

    • Thanks, sophiescott196. It’s easy to be an impressive Management Catsultant when there’s so much at stake personally. I’m highly motivated to expedite this operation!

  4. Pingback: the kitty is out of the bag | maru can kiss my furry…

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