As all of my loyal fans know, the last few months have been pretty rough. Between Kitty’s diagnosis, my disappointing Christmas twig, my human’s stupidity, eventually losing Kitty, and my recent mystery illness that I’m sure had more to do with germs than stress, I was starting to feel a little down in the dumps. But then a few days ago, something really fantastic happened. One of my very favorite fans gave me the most amazing gift EVER. I love it more than high fives and bonito flakes… That might be a slight exaggeration because everycat knows there’s nothing better than bonito flakes, but you get the point… I’ve been enjoying this gift every minute since I got it, and I can honestly say that my mood is better and I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel!
I’m very sad today… This morning my human sat me down for a long talk. She told me that poor old Kitty hasn’t been feeling well, so she was going to take Kitty someplace where she’d be all better and her head wouldn’t hurt anymore. At first I was sad because I won’t have anyone to bathe, but then I started thinking about the fabulous feline retirement home where Kitty must be going. It must be a fantastic place for my human to even consider it… I’m envisioning a beautiful butterfly farm, with lots of long grass to hide in and beautiful butterflies flitting about. And there must be lizards there. And lots of birds. But no feral chickens. And I bet they’ll feed Kitty all the strawberry Yoplait yogurt she wants, because that is her favorite. And it will have lots of sun puddles to nap in. And at night, she’ll have her very own bathtub to curl up in to sleep. She always hated it when I bugged her in the bathtub…
So I’m sad today because I’ll miss poor old Kitty, but I know she’s someplace much better. And my human has been stuffing me with bonito flakes since she got home, so maybe this will work out well for me, too.
Sorry I haven’t updated my blog all week. I’ve been busy bathing myself obsessively. Now that Kitty’s medicine is working, she hates me again and I’m not allowed to groom her… I guess our vet might not be an idiot after all. I wonder if he can prescribe something for my OCD before my tummy is bald again…
Aloha and Happy Thanksgiving to All!
This year I have so much to be thankful for that I don’t know where to begin…
I am so thankful for the US Postal Service’s fantastic boxes, even though my idiot human seems to think they can contain things not feline. Sigh…
I am thankful for every day I get to spend with my ancient roommate cat, Kitty.
I am thankful for Bonito Flakes.
I am thankful for all of my bloggy friends.
I am thankful for a good home in a beautiful place with lots of geckos to hunt.
I am thankful for tummy rubs and high fives.
I am thankful to have a steady income from my WordAds. I’m saving up for a miniature cow and a human to dispose of said cow’s poop.
And most of all, more than anything else under the sun: I am thankful that the presidential election is over!
I suppose it’s time to make the official announcement… Poor old Kitty was diagnosed with a brain tumor this week. Because she’s older than dirt, she is not an ideal candidate for any aggressive treatments. So my human will be giving her medicine to make sure she’s comfortable and happy, and my time is going to be spent making sure she is well-groomed for as long as she has left. There’s no way to know if she has weeks or months, but I am committed to focusing my attention on her.
I think our vet might be an idiot (more on that later) so I’ve researched the internet extensively. Unfortunately, the diagnosis and treatment plan does seem to be correct. I’m very sad that the tumor can’t be surgically removed, because I found the COOLEST thing for Kitty to wear while recovering from brain surgery – a pink helmet from Zoomer Gear. Maybe I’ll order one for her anyway, because I think she would LOVE it.
Despite the fact that our vet appears to be correct about Kitty’s noggin, I do have serious doubts about his intelligence. The reason I’m concerned is that he seems to think that Kitty’s sudden decision to love me on February 27, 2012 after hating me for years is the first visible “symptom” of her brain tumor. How could that possibly be a symptom? Who could NOT love Pedro the Cat??? Hmph.
Please don’t be sad for Kitty. She has lived a long, happy life. (Really, how many American cats are old enough to VOTE?) She is comfy and happy now, and I’m going to take very good care of her. And when I’m not grooming her I plan on writing some posts celebrating Kitty’s long life.
Remember Kitty, my geriatric roommate cat? She and I have had a tumultuous relationship, to say the least. It was a big relief earlier this year when she finally recognized how wonderful I am and started appreciating my vast talents. Or at least, my skills as fantastic cuddler during storms…
Kitty went to the vet today because she’s been acting a little confused. It was pretty stressful for her, so when she came home I made sure she was comfy on my favorite blanket, and I gave her a nice bath so she didn’t smell funny like the vet… I’m so glad that the election madness is over so I can focus on the important things in life – like grooming friends.
I had to take a brief sacCATical to take care of some feline business, but I’m back now and ready for all of my adoring fans to begin adoring me again. I apologize to those of you that missed me terribly, but I think you’ll be excited to see what I’ve been working on in upcoming posts. Here’s a quick update on what’s been going on in the world of Pedro the Cat:
- As you may recall, before my leave I had just acquired a new temporary human that needed some serious training. The progress in getting him to let me lick his barren noggin has been a little disappointing, but I haven’t given up hope yet. I have been able to teach him a few impressive tricks that I can’t wait to show you all.
- As you also may recall, my roommate cat, Kitty, was older than dirt. I am happy to report that Kitty has not yet kicked the bucket, and she is now even older than older than dirt. I believe she may be senile because she does seem to love me now.
- And I’m sure that you all remember my underachieving human. She is still underachieving. But she is spending more time brushing me and administering mani/pedis. (Or would that be pedi/pedis?)
- As you may recall, I had accrued enough income from my WordAds to bring home the bacon. A slice or two… I am thrilled to announce that due to the diligence of my fans, even in the absence of new posts, I am now able to afford the entire pound of bacon. Maybe even a pound of the fancy applewood smoked bacon my human loves. Thank you all for your continued support!
I’ve been watching the Olympic games, and seeing all those elite athletes has really been inspirational. I think cats everywhere should come together to organize our own feline Olympics. I’ve been thinking a lot about which kitty sports should be included, and I’ve narrowed it down to the following:
- drapery speed climbing
- litter box digging
- hairball toss (between myself and Kitty, I’m the
- marathon cat napping
- speed shedding
- cardboard box leaping (Maru’s bound to medal in that one)
- team and individual bathing
- and my personal favorite and best chance for gold – feather boa rhythmic gymnastics
This week I’m proud to be celebrating my little blog’s first birthday! I can’t believe how much I’ve learned over the last year, and how many fabulous cats and humans I’ve met. In appreciation of all of my new friends and fans, I put together a slideshow with a few of my favorite blogging moments. Hopefully I’ve included your favorites as well…
Have you ever known such a handsome cat?
As most of my adoring fans know, my relationship with my roommate cat, Kitty, has been difficult at times. She is a tiny, frail, geriatric cat. I am a rambunctious, active, giant, unrefined, brilliant, gorgeous, fun-loving, curious, exciting, ambitious, humble and youthful cat. It’s not an ideal combination.
After struggling through our first years together, Kitty and I had reached an uneasy truce. She would pretend to hate me, and I would do everything I could to make sure she knew that I loved her anyway. I would hold her down and groom her until she was dripping wet and clean as a whistle, or follow her every movement around the house so she never felt lonely. I knew she would eventually warm up to me… And I was right!
I’m not sure what happened, but all of a sudden Kitty LOVES me! She seeks me out for her daily grooming session, and I don’t have to hold her down. She doesn’t growl and hiss every time she sees me. And she even wants to cuddle a little during our afternoon naps. It’s amazing and fantastic, and quite possibly senile dementia. I’m enjoying every minute of it!
Exciting things are happening around here! My human is back to “normal” and has started working on my portfolio again. Kitty has become remarkably supportive and our friendship is strengthening. And today something really exciting happened that has helped to rebuild my confidence and solidify my career goals. I can’t believe it myself, but today I checked my Word Ads statement and I am excited to announce that PEDRO THE CAT HAS AN INCOME. Yep, I’m bringing home the bacon. At this point we’re talking about a slice of bacon, or maybe two. But I’m so excited to think that someday I will be able to afford to bring home a whole pound of bacon. Pedro the Cat is on the way to fame and fortune! Look out Maru, here I come…
Does anyone know how to remove hard water stains from a cat?
I will never be able to join the ranks of the high-powered celebrity cats unless I look my best. And it’s hard to look my best with this weird water spot on my noggin. It might look subtle in this photo, but I think it really stands out in person. Or in cat, for that matter. Does anyone know how to remove hard water stains from fur?
P.S. No, Kitty has not been subjecting me to Chinese water torture. My favorite watering hole is the bathtub, but the spout drips on me when I drink. I don’t mind the drips – I picture myself as a cow-spotted jaguar in the rainforest, with rain dripping from giant leaves…
You may recall my outrage of the improper use of “What’s black and white and red all over?” in Catsparella’s Vogue magazine review. After lengthy meetings with my legal advisor, I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s only one reasonable plan of action. I need to rally black and white and red all over (BAWARAO) creatures everywhere and inspire them to fight for their rights. One cat alone can’t fight this battle. Unfortunately, I’m having a hard time putting together an exhaustive list of BAWARAOs. Hopefully my loyal fans can assist me with that. Here’s what I have so far:
- Pedro the Cat (naturally)
- Blushing Penguins
- Sunburnt Zebras
- A Nun in a Blender
- Angry Pandas
- Penguins in Ketchup
- Embarrassed Skunks
- Penguins with Diaper Rash
I’m going to need all the help I can get with this project, so I hope you can help me identify all of the BAWARAOs. In the meantime, I think I’ll ask Kitty to handle the Angry Pandas.
Today I was alerted to something very alarming. My friend at Here There Be Spiders shared a link to Catsparella’s troubling review of a Vogue Magazine spread with me. Vogue not only used a model cat that is neither very attractive nor interesting, but Catsparella’s review also starts with the words, “What’s black and white and red all over?” I am black and white and red all over. ME. Pedro the Cat is black and white and red all over. This model cat has no red. I have red. And black and white.
I was so troubled by the inferior black and white cat with the weird nose spot and incorrect review that I decided to put on my bow tie for an urgent meeting with my legal team. I would like their advice on whether or not I can trademark the phrase, “What’s black and white and red all over?” Unfortunately, my legal team consists of Kitty and she’s not returning my meows… After Kitty and I go over the feasibility of trademarking “What’s black and white and red all over?”, I’ll be meeting with my marketing team to make sure that my photos are distributed far and wide so magazines don’t have to use such inferior creatures. I hope Kitty can stay awake through two meetings…
My Caturday was very productive. I gave Kitty a really long bath, helped my human maximize her itemized deductions, and wrote a very impartial review of myself at Review of My Cat… And then I wrote a long letter of complaint to the Postmaster General. I swear they reduced the size of the Medium Flat Rate Box, which made my Caturday nap completely dissatisfying.
I haven’t chimed in with any thoughts lately, so I thought I’d drop in to say hello and let people know that I haven’t kicked the bucket yet… Pedro has been working really diligently on a huge surprise that all of you are going to love. He wants to be ready for the big unveiling next week, so he’s been training hard night and day. The poor guy wore himself out, though. This is how he spent his whole day today…
Thankfully, for me that means fewer disgusting cat baths and fewer ambushes by the “giant cow-spotted lion”, as he likes to think of himself. I keep reminding him that practice makes perfect because I’m really enjoying the solitude!
You wouldn’t believe the weather we’re having! It’s been stormy for a few days – lots of thunder and lightning, a few feet of rain, 50 mph winds, flooding, power outages, and it’s COLD. I was spending a lot of time sitting on my human’s head until Kitty pointed out that I resembled a furry, cow-spotted lightning rod. So I kicked Kitty out of my favorite cardboard box and I’m not coming out until the coast is clear.
Today they issued a disaster declaration, and I’m relieved. This is a huge disaster – I haven’t had a decent cat nap since Friday!
As most of my regular readers know, my relationship with my roommate cat, Kitty, is strained at times. I adore the old gal and want to groom her and frolic with her and play-stalk her like a cow-spotted lion. And while Kitty pretends to hate nearly everything about me, I’ve always known deep down inside that she really does love me. I mean, how could anyone NOT love Pedro the Cat???
Over the weekend, we had a big Hawaiian winter storm. That means gusty winds, torrential rains, and thunder that rattles the windows. Normally this kind of weather sends me into my human’s lap, but doesn’t seem to ruffle Kitty’s feathers at all. But not this storm. Not once, but TWICE Kitty was scared (or cold) enough to snuggle. Never in the history of my life with Kitty has she chosen to be close to me, and if I try to sneak up and cuddle with her while she’s asleep, she always smacks me upside the head and runs away.
Sebastian Junger might have different ideas, but this was what I call a Perfect Storm… I just hope Kitty remembers that she really does like me if the yakuza come for her over yesterday’s post.
OK – this is beginning to drive me insane… Maru’s human posted a fabulous photo of Maru sniffing a cow udder. But now that photo has disappeared into cyberspace. Today I went back to Maru’s blog, and there was the cow udder photo and new cow photos. So I posted another “aside” with the link. I tested the link and it worked like a charm, and hit “publish”. And then I tested the link again, and the page could not be found. Ugghh… So now, I can finally go back to Maru’s blog, but the udder photo is AWOL once again. I’m so confused!
I’m sure you all know by now that I am a huge fan of everything Bovine. I really, really want you all to see the udder photo. I’m beginning to realize that will never happen, so I am now going to commit a blogging sin. I am going to insert one of Maru’s less spectacular cow photos below without his permission. I can’t read kanji, so I have no idea how Maru’s lawyers would feel about me using his photo. But, I’m pretty sure that the yakuza will come and cut off all Kitty’s toes to teach me a lesson. Sorry, Kitty.