pedro the cat has puppy dog eyes

pretty please...

I’m practicing my puppy-dog eyes. Think they’ll work?

I’m preparing for the tough conversation where I explain to my human that Grizzly is completely unsuitable as a personal assistant, so if she’s considering adopting him she needs to put that thought out of her mind ASAP.

Here are my major reasons for rejecting Mr. Grizz:

  1. He’s a scaredy cat. During a recent thunderstorm, Grizzly spent the whole day cowering under the bed. I expect to be able to hide my eyes in my personal assistant’s fur so I can pretend I’m in my happy place during fireworks and thunderstorms. How can I do that if my personal assistant is AWOL?
  2. Hygiene is absolutely essential, but Grizzly’s OCD and over-grooming doesn’t extend to his face. And when I try to help him clean up the crumbs on his chin, he acts like I’m going to eat him. And that makes me want to try to eat him, which gets me in trouble.
  3. Grizzly has his own teddy bear. My human gave it to him hoping that he’ll nurse on the bear instead of himself. What kind of high powered executive cat nurses on a teddy bear???
  4. Grizzly makes me look fat. When he’s too close to me, my fur puffs up like crazy, making me look like a 20-pounder. I’ll never get off the yucky diet kibble with him around.
  5. For some unfathomable reason, Grizzly is not suitably awestruck in my presence. He pretends not to know of my celebrity status and general fabulosity.  Yesterday when I sat on him, instead of asking if I was comfortable, he hissed at me.  Hissed!
  6. Grizzly is an excavator. A digger. It’s noisy and messy and just plain weird. Does he really think he might hit something new and exciting in that litterbox if he just keeps digging long enough???

As you can see, I’ve put considerable thought into the feasibility of keeping Grizzly as a permanent personal assistant before coming to the conclusion that he’s just not the right cat for the job. I’m sure that once his bum is fuzzy and our fostering stint is over, he’ll make the perfect pet for a loving furrever family. He does have a nice personality, and he’s not a bad-looking cat. But he really isn’t Businesscat material.


17 comments on “pedro the cat has puppy dog eyes

  1. Poor Grisly… another one bites the dust bunnies? Maybe you should try setting some small goals for him to start with. You know, from a mog-management point of view. I mean, stepping into Kitty’s paw prints must be quite challenging. Look at how many years’ experience she had!

  2. TRUST – takes a while dear friend I had to give Archie many hours of my time just being there and letting him come to me and then baby steps on touching etc. With time you will get there :-). PS: gorgeous eyes x

  3. Pedro I think you should consider Grizzly a “work in progress”… didn’t realize at first how much training he was going to require; now you know he’s going to be a challenge – don’t give up now – I have faith in you…..if you can successfully hold Grizzly into the ideal personal assistant, it will be a wonderful addition to your growing resume’s list of accomplishments.


    • Aloha, Sammy! I’m not sure this one is trainable, Sammy… Plus, he snores REALLY loud. It interrupts my own snoring… It would be amazing if I could mold Grizzly into the perfect assistant. I just don’t know if I have the patience for that undertaking.

  4. You have purrfect puppy dog eyes!

    You just need to be patient with Grizzly Bear, because there is really nothing cuter than a kitty cuddling a teddy, and while it might not exactly boost your image as a serious businesscat, you might learn a stress-relieving technique or two from Grizzly that will help you deal with the stresses of your profession.

  5. also, I wanted to share Chun’s experience. He wanted an assistant to organize his modeling wardrobe and iron his cravats and he wanted an exercise buddy that he could chase and bop whenever he wanted.

    Instead, he got the silliest little Sprocker who has no fashion sense, whose b&w splotches clash with his sophisticated stripes, and who chases Chun and eats his food. But after a few months of it, he wouldn’t exchange Sprocker for anyone. So give Grizzly a chance and even though he might annoy you and fail to live up to your expectations, you’ll soon find that you can’t do without him.

    • Yes, but Sprocket was the perfectest, cutest teeny, tiny little black and white tripod kitty EVER. And Grizzly is… Well, frankly he’s very monochromatic. And I’m not really sure he’s even a cat because he doesn’t even like bonito flakes. I don’t know about this one, Littlemiao… 😦

  6. Pingback: the unvarnished truth about Grizzly | maru can kiss my furry...

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